So many questions do we all have about our origins and so many laying claims to knowing the answers and origins to our questions unanswered. Where did we come from is often at the top of the list, and one that many religions insist to know the answer to. It’s almost guaranteed to come up in a theological debate, and usually, a question brought up to suggest the necessity of a deity to provide such an answer to such a profound question. And in asking this question many times myself, I wondered if the answer is hidden in plain sight, staring at me as if I were looking at myself in the mirror. It’s a troubling question indeed, and not one in which I have not struggled with throughout the years as a Christian. It was some 5 or 6 years ago (fuzzy memory on time) where I first really started to think more about this question when I fully left my Christian faith to become a Pantheist. It was a moment of realization that I am a character in a book continuously being written, not by a being beyond the limitations of my senses, but by the book itself as if it had its own magical pens, paintbrushes, crayons, and markers to write upon its blank pages we often call the yet unwritten future. A story that writes itself seems almost absurd, though everywhere we look we see it emerging all around us from the changing shorelines to the unfolding of our own lives. It becomes then absurdly undeniable if not woefully done so.
It is this realization in which I have come to know as an answer I do not fully understand. Fundamental in its simplicity and yet so incredibly complex, mysterious, and unknown.. In light of this, I purpose you to ask yourselves what book do you really think you are trying to read here for all the answers to those unanswered questions?. Is it the Bible, the Qu’ran, or a science book?. Well, would it bother you if I told you it’s neither of those? Would it make sense to you if I told you that science studies this book and religion can’t exist without it? This book not only has all the answers, it literally is all the answers at the very same time whether they are accessible to us or not. What could this strange book of origins be if not the science textbooks, or the holy books such as the Bible? Well, I think you may know this book under its very familiar title:
Without much doubt, this is by far the most logical answer of everything even if we don’t fully understand everything in, of, or about existence. For is it not existence hidden in plain sight that has been staring back at us while we in futility throughout history have tried to answer the question of our origins? After all, Existence is defined as the essence and totality of all that exists, and arguably is, therefore, every rule, force to cause, process, function, state of being, person, place, object, substance, or thing thereof and within it. Would it be insane to suggest it is the nature of causality, the totality of power, information, purpose, meaning, and what is, was, or what will ever become? How incredibly profound is that I ask? Seemingly beyond words fit to describe, and yet here I am there of trying perhaps in futility.
Furthermore, it would be arguable that Existence is not something that can be created, and reasonably arguable to say all things that have come to be are emergent properties of and from Existence itself. This as if to say that Existence may very well be a self-generating system from itself for which all things are created. You want the answer to everything, it’s perhaps exactly what Atheists have been suggesting to us from the very start. Fundamentally I would suggest to you that Existence would, logically, be the only thing that could reasonably represent a Universal Set of all sets. The source origin of everything we know. However, and if you think otherwise, you may feel free to explain to me the nature of causality, or our origins, meaning, purpose, consciousness, being, essence, life, or why we are here without “Existence”.., the theological God of Pantheism. This to me was a revelation, and for a while, I had become Pantheistic, but yet even that would be met in conceptual futility! Therefore I propose you to further ask yourselves the following questions in which I had asked myself just a few years ago:
Q1: What is GOD without existence?
A1: Non-existent, meaningless, pointless, irrelevant.
Q2: If Existence is GOD, then what of existence is not?
A2: If existence is GOD, then by definition everything and everyone of existence is GOD.
Q3: If Existence is not GOD, then what of existence is?
A3: If Existence to which is the sum total and essence of everything is not “GOD”, then by definition there isn’t anything of existence to which is.
Tough questions indeed, but yet pretty simple deductive logic with a logical conclusion breaking down the concept of GOD to either being literally moot or entirely non-existent altogether. That was problematic for even my newfound Pantheism. Needless to say, this was pretty destructive to what little faith I had left in GOD, or the concept in general. I would even argue further to say I had come to realize that it was even more ridiculous for one part of existence to worship another part of itself as “GOD” as such would be the ultimate case of delusional Narcissism. I could not reconcile as the whole concept of GOD had thus become logically moot and inherently nonsensical, if not a self-refuting concept altogether. Thus after having been a Pantheist, I had decided that “God” has no real value or meaning to me giving it logically has none, to begin with. Well, no meaning other than subjugation to a concept of delusional grandeur. I, therefore, have become, most unexpectedly, an Atheist. A scary word that ought not to be uttered in the company of my more religious side of the family. I don’t think I would have ever considered or imagined being an Atheist as a child, but once I let myself think critically in a moment of free thought, there was no turning back as that first chip tipped and sent the dominoes to fall. My bridge of faith came crashing down, and for a while my life felt like a disaster like a tornado had ripped apart my house I called home.., leaving me nothing. I became angry and depressed until I realized I hadn’t lost anything, I but rather gained a curiosity of everything I had once rejected. I suddenly felt free to be rather than obligated to be what others demanded me to be without question or expression of my own individuality hidden in a cage within me. I really didn’t know who I was until now, and even that yet remains to have a bit of mystery as I march forward into future of the unwritten pages. I find that I am a paintbrush, a marker, pen, and the crayon among many others…., painting and coloring an unfolding and ever emerging work of art worthy of its literature between the pictures of every frame. Do you know what that is like? It is Existence!